I have an uneasy relationship with clothes and style: I don't really care about fashion and I don't enjoy shopping, but I do like to look nice. I like the confidence that can come from wearing a well put-together outfit--I just can't be bothered to put one together! Keeping up with fashion feels expensive and futile and energy-draining, but on the flip side, it can feel so good to wear something that looks great and reflects personal style.
In this blog I'm intentionally not focusing on clothes and fashion, as there are already so many bloggers who do it much, much better than I ever could or would want to; but, I do want to gently explore the idea of personal style and dressing for confidence. I'm also curious to explore the role of clothing in a thoughtful life: is fashion always frivolous? What role does wardrobe play in a thoughtful, happy life? How can clothing complement, rather than detract from, a thoughtful life?
I've always wondered if clothing subscription services, like Stitch Fix or Trunk Club, could be a reasonable answer for me, but I've been either pregnant or living outside of the US since they came on the scene. I'd love to hear feedback from someone who has joined a clothing subscription service, whether you liked it or not. Please share!
I've also taken some inspiration (that I haven't yet acted on!) from blogs like Into Mind and Un-Fancy. I love the simplicity of a capsule wardrobe and a work uniform.
Am I alone in this? Is there anyone else out there who feels this dissonance, or something similar? I'd love to hear!
Top photo from Massimo Dutti, second photo from Trunk Club.
Holli says
I subscribe to this online magazine from Colette (a small indie sewing pattern company) that has introduced a section called "Wardrobe Architect". It's part of the "slow fashion" movement in which we are meant to put thought into the cost of the clothes we wear, i.e. a $5 shirt from Walmart costs me so little, but that savings comes at the cost of the person who made it and is living in poverty.
It's a wonderful read and pushes me to examine the cheap thrill I get from shopping in a store versus making a fine piece of clothing for myself. I'm still learning how to make a garment well, but the time I've spent in my studies and practice have been immensely enjoyable. I get so much more pleasure out of taking the time at a fabric store examining different prints, touching different fabrics and using my imagination than walking through retail stores, checking price tags.
My only wish is that I had more time to dedicate to sewing and building a handmade wardrobe!
Here's the link if you're interested: https://blog.colettehq.com/wardrobe-architect
Jodi says
I'm so glad you shared this, Holli. I am so impressed that you have made your own clothing - seems like something so few people do these days, when only a few generations ago all people had was home-made clothing. I love the image of walking through a fabric store and looking at prints and touching fabrics. I would love to see anything you've made!
KP says
I can really relate to your description of not enjoying shopping or keeping up with fashion, but feeling good when your clothes reflect your personal style and are put together. I face the same conundrum! And through childbirth, my body size and shape keeps changing which makes it hard to invest in anything. I loved reading about the work uniform- what a great idea to lower stress. I also appreciate Holli's comment. The supply chain for clothing is often very murky, and I am afraid it involves all sorts of exploitation which brings me to another conundrum of loving a bargain.....but at what human cost?
Jodi says
Ugh, I know the feeling about not investing in clothes in the childbearing years; other than nursing clothes, I've put a moratorium on clothes shopping until my general size and shape stops fluctuating so much -- which means I'm left with a lot of ill-fitting items or things I'm just *over*, but I know it's senseless to spend more money on things I'll only be able to wear a few months before I'm a different size. And because I'm with Holli in that I really, really don't want to shop at inexpensive places like H&M to get clothes I can justify wearing for only a few months, I'm stuck. Maybe clothing exchanges are a good solution?
Alison says
So, I realize this comment is very geo-specific, BUT! Wanted to share 🙂 We moved to Park Slope in Brooklyn recently, and what I've been blown away by is the up-cycle (right term?) atmosphere here. When you walk down the street in the neighborhood, you will find things upon things that have been carefully laid out by their previous owners (in the front of their homes) that are looking for their next home. Clothes, games, books (oh the books we've brought home!), furniture, food -- actual FOOD, unopened boxes of pasta for example...all this laid out in front of homes for your taking. We of course hopped on the bandwagon immediately and have been loving it. We got our bookcase, a piece of furniture for our mudroom area, endless books, Banana Republic clothing, toys for the baby...my husband just walked in with an ARM LOAD of soft bound comic books. It is mind blowing, esp in light of the fact that others in the neighborhood will have tag sales, and the things at the sales are lesser quality than what you can find on various stoops for free.
Anyway...this is all a very long way of saying in this very geo-specific area, I've loved scooping up clothing, washing it, seeing if it fits, and if not, back on the stoop it goes! It's fun, it's guilt free and once in a while I find a gem. Also: Salvation Army/GoodWill have been awesome places to score gorgeous clothing. It's esp great if you go in with no agenda and just browse with the expectation that you won't find anything. Then when you DO! 🙂 Ah, it's lovely...my fav cashmere sweater is from SA, so is my fav button down and I think each were $3.
Finally, and this is M-I-L specific, but my MIL has a collection of gorgeous clothing that she doesn't wear often, so she'll gift me various things -- that has been the way in which I've acquired a to-die-for Ralph Lauren tweed hunting jacket (for all of the hunting that I need to do in Brooklyn). Granted, I needed to get it tailored, but for $100 I have a custom fitted, amazing jacket that I would like to be buried in.
ALSO: sorry -- one last idea -- I just came across a British label called Joules which you might like -- I too am not buying anything for body-shifting purposes, but when I do...oh, when I do... 🙂
xoxo
Jodi says
Alison, thanks for sharing such a great comment. I am so jealous of the stoops in Park Slope. I love that people seem to so easily recognize their excesses and are ready to get rid of them by gifting them to others. I think that's a great way to get rid of things and a great way to gain things. I used to host clothing exchanges where I'd gather all my girlfriends and everyone would bring their unused clothes, and we'd drink champagne and eat cheese and try on all these great clothes. It was always nice, too, to hear the story behind someone's items.
By the way, I have a gorgeous tweed hunting jacket from Joules. =) I bought it brand-new but on sale, and I LOVE it.
Dava says
Oh my gosh can I ever relate; I probably could have written this. I hate shopping and don't really care about fashion at all, I don't like things that are "trendy" and when I do shop, I aim to buy things that I can wear until they fall apart completely because they won't look dated (I hope). I also work in the nonprofit sector so I've had the fortune (good/bad, you decide) of being able to wear jeans to work my entire career, which means that I've NEVER really learned how to dress professionally. It gives me tremendous anxiety to think about the next time I might decide to job hunt and what I would have to do to my wardrobe in order to make that possible. I love the idea of a work uniform - love it. It's never even occurred to me before. I also love the idea of a capsule wardrobe, and once we have a house with a basement to store things I just may try the 333 project (to be honest, I'm probably doing that right now since I've been living out of a suitcase for eight weeks, but it was way less strategic than the project outlines). I have to say that I'm terrible about being eco and/or humanitarian conscious in my shopping. I hate spending money on clothes, it just feels so unnecessary, and I don't have time (or the capacity) to make my clothes (although I have huge admiration for your friend who does) so I buy semi-throwaway stuff from places like Old Navy, Gap, and Loft and live in it. But even though I hate fashion and shopping, I do feel SO much better when I'm put together and feel good about my appearance, I'm just terrible at making that happen.
Jodi says
Thanks for this, Dava. It's so great to know I'm not alone.
Last fall, in order to simplify and sophisticate my wardrobe, I made a decision: to wear only black and grey clothes (I'd wear white, too, but that's just not practical with two small kids). It made shopping soooo much easier--a pleasure, even, when there are fewer choices to consider--and also made it a snap to put together a decent outfit. I also aimed to only buy from higher-end retailers (though the affordability of that decision remains questionable), to make sure that I LOVED something before I bought it and I would treat it well for years to come. To make that a bit easier, I refuse to even walk into places like H&M or Old Navy (except for toddler underwear and socks).
After the baby is born, and then after ease-of-breastfeeding is no longer the defining criteria for getting dressed, I intend to explore this subject a lot more on the blog. Not that you really want to wait another 1-2 years, but stay tuned! =)