So I'm approximately a week into my happiness project, and I'll be honest: it's not going so well.
As you can see from the picture above, I'm doing so-so at keeping my resolutions. Some things, like lying with my legs up the wall and writing a to-do list, have been easy to do; while other things, like getting to bed by 10:30pm and exercising, are proving more of a challenge. So I went for a long walk this afternoon to think about why...
Truth is, I'm just more committed to some of these resolutions than to the others. I actually am getting enough sleep already, so this 10:30pm thing feels--and is--arbitrarily imposed. I think I'm going to scratch it off the list for the rest of the month. Exercise has been a challenge primarily because we spent the entire weekend together doing things to celebrate my birthday--sailing all day Saturday, then going to Gröna Lund, an amusement park in the center of Stockholm. Those were gorgeous, fun days, and exercise just wasn't a part of the plan. Also, James and I need to get better about giving each other some time off during the weekends.
Some things have been surprisingly easy, like writing a to-do list and stretching my legs at the end of the day. I can think of dozens of things to do every day, but I forget to write them down--and thus, I forget to do them. Having this checklist to remind me helps me get these nagging things out of my brain, where they annoy me (or get lost!), and onto paper, where I can do something about them and then forget them. Lying with my legs up the wall has been a calming nighttime ritual, almost like meditation. I'm so glad to be holding myself to that.
As I do these small things to help build more energy and vitality, I realize that there's something that's driving me crazy at home and eating up my mental energy: clutter. It's time to do the seasonal clothing shift, as well as the pregnancy clothing shift. I have piles of clothes in drawers and cupboards that are all meant to go somewhere else. I also have a constant spread of papers, books, receipts, etc. on an extra table in the study that clouds my mind and my mood every time I see it--it desperately needs sorting, and our shelving needs some useful organization.
I'm thinking I should add a resolution that will get me working on clearing out these areas, but they all seem like big one-time tasks. Or maybe I can just do a few minutes each day. Initially I was going to wait for a different month and focus area to work on this stuff, but I realize now it's affecting my mental health and I should get to it sooner rather than later. Do you have any suggestions for a resolution/tactic to tackle this stuff in a manageable, sustainable way? Should I just add something like "15 minutes of decluttering" to my chart?
More on the first month of my happiness project.
Photo by me.
Oh, and while we're talking about happiness, here's some:
Alison says
Hi Darling!
Love the leg stretches and may start doing that as well...little man is HEAVY.
So, clothes I can't help you with bc...I'm not great at that. I donate all the stuff that I haven't worn in a while and have (finally, finally, finally) let go of the guilt I feel when I "should" have worn something more. If it isn't flattering, or I don't love it, or I won't wear it (3 very different things while preggo, amirite?), out it goes. Helpful? Idk.
PAPERS. This I can help you with. I have a pile, and a resolution that once a week I'll weed through them. I don't have a time horizon, like 15 minutes, I just get through what I feel up to that day and then put all the rest in a BIG pile and put that pile in a lovely basket out of sight so I don't get depressed (remember, we live in a tiny apt and I have 3 pots. Not a lot of space, and no extra psychic space for clutter).
ALSO -- check out the app called Wunderlist. It has changed my life (and Paul's too) -- you can share it with other users (hello, James) and use it across devices -- so it's on my laptop, phone, both of Paul's, plus his iPad. It's awesome and amazing and you might be surprised how things start popping up on the "Grocery" list when you're out shopping. It's like...magic 😉
There's this book called Instant Analysis that was suggested for writers to read. One of the topics that caught my eye (in regard to myself) was being overly judgemental of others (which I totally, totally am) and the "analysis" was that there was a bunch of stuff in my life that I wasn't doing and so I judged others for their failings to do so as well, to make me feel better about being a slacker. Cool. So one of the examples the book gave was, maybe you say you want to exercise but you don't, so maybe what you need to come to realize is that even though you say you value exercise, maybe you don't in the way you've currently thought about it.
Anyway, I'm not saying this applies to you at all, but it was super humbling for me and I stopped thinking that exercising was so important to do. I've been a lot happier, and maybe, maybe...less judgey. 😉
xoxo
Jodi says
Thanks for this incredibly thoughtful response, Alison. I do think it's so helpful to hear how other people deal with similar issues, and how other people come to realize things about themselves.
I've had a look at the Wunderlist app and it looks great. I'll see if we can implement it as a family solution, because if it's just me using it, that's not so useful.
I think the big problem for me, vis-a-vis the resolutions I currently have and the things I want to work toward in future months, is that I am *exhausted*. It has little to do with sleep and food and exercise and a lot to do with being pregnant while already having two kids under four years. It takes me forever to recover from travel or from a cold, or even from one night of bad sleep. So while I actually have upped my sleep, have been eating more healthily ,and exercising more than before, I'm still utterly exhausted because, you know, I'm incubating a human! I guess what I need to do, while waiting for that second trimester energy burst, is figure out how to get through while feeling so tired. How can I adjust my workflow, tasks, etc., to still be (or at least feel) productive while expending minimal energy? That's a tall order, and I don't know if it has a solution....