I'm making a bit of a departure here in today's post. Generally I try to write about something in particular—at the very least so that I have a sensible title line for each post—and usually, something that fits in with themes I generally cover on this blog. But today I'm going off script (or, more aptly, off editorial calendar). Think of today's post as something like an elongated Now Page; I'm just going to write, to share what's on my mind. I expect this will lead to a rather disparate and desultory post, but since I'm running this ship, that's my choice.
My due date is officially March 3 (though I say it's March 5 due to the length of my menstrual cycle), which is {frighteningly} about two weeks away. As a family, we're about as ready as we're going to get, with most things put in place and just waiting for a wriggly, squirmy, soft newborn to settle into them.
There's one glaring omission in our preparations, though, and that's a car large enough to fit all three car seats. Technically we can get all three car seats in our Skoda wagon, with one child in the front seat (note: everyone in Sweden puts a car seat and child in the front passenger seat! We are quite uncomfortable doing it, but we will have to for now), but that means that the second adult has to squeeze into the ~18 inches between the car seats in the back. James has been hesitant to get a new (used) car, for reasons I'll get to in a future post, but I don't really see how we can get by without doing so. Minivans, here we come. =(
I'm hobbling my way to the end of pregnancy. As I wrote here, it's been quite difficult this time around, and now I have a new complication: I seem to have a pinched nerve in my back. I can barely walk now, and when I do my limp is so pronounced that it looks as though I may have a congenital birth defect or some other crippling factor. The pain isn't unbearable, but it's sharp and stubborn prevents me from doing almost anything physical.
I'm increasingly aware that there's another human joining our family in a very short time, and that this little human is going to turn our lives upside-down for a while, and I am alternately thrilled and hesitant about the changes to come to our little family. The boys seem very excited, but they've also become quite clingy with me in the last week or so, surely sensing the coming earthquake.
We had a little painting session over the weekend, with Leif going thick and heavy with the blue. August made this lovely green-and-gold-glitter blob just for me, and now it's hanging on the wall.
I spent most of last week sitting in front of my computer, trying to write posts for this blog. At least one day, I spent about six hours at the computer, reading the news, investigating this or that, tinkering with photos that needed editing, etc., and finally stood up to realize that not only had I gotten nothing in particular done, but that I felt awful.
In the aftermath, I finally accepted and articulated that the way I've been going about writing this blog has been rather joyless and, at times, energy-sucking. I sit down at the computer for hours every day and try to hammer out a post with great pictures (mine or stock); and sometimes I'm successful, and sometimes it just feels terrible. So I decided to stop trying so hard to push something out every day (which wasn't working anyway), and instead take more time to do things that I find stimulating and fulfilling. (Which, of course, can only help me create better content for the blog anyway).
This week I've had coffee with a friend in a neighboring town, and also gone into Stockholm for an entertaining lecture on culture and behavior. Tomorrow I've booked a massage at a old-time and luxurious day spa in the center of Stockholm, somewhere I've always wanted to go. Obviously it will be good for my mental health, but as my body feels ever-more broken-up, an afternoon spent relaxing in water and being treated to gentle, healing touch feels almost necessary. (Of course, there's the train-to-subway ride into the city and back, which I can only hope doesn't do more harm than the massage does good.)
But back to the blog: I had hoped to write and schedule a bunch of posts to publish after the baby comes, so that I don't abandon you, dear readers, while I'm recovering from labor; but seeing as how I can barely keep up with a semi-regular weekly posting schedule as is, that's gone by the wayside. Now I'm hoping I'll be able to find a healthy and sane balance between nesting with the new one (and taking care of the big ones!) and posting every now and then. I'd love to publish more guest posts, too, as I love reading and sharing the thoughts of my friends. (Laura, Sophia, Lisa, anyone—you got anything for me??!!?)
In addition to words, I want to share some scenes from around our home. One of the wonderful (okay, sometimes terrible) things about kids is the presence they leave behind them. Even when they're not here, traces of them are everywhere. And when there's just enough, rather than too many, it's incredibly sweet and lovely.
Leif is into building long trains right now, and prefers not to have a track for them. He leaves this in various places around the living room.
What remains on the couch after they've built an airplane/spaceship/train. Leif gets VERY upset if we tidy up while he's away at school.
Valentine's crafts Leif made at preschool on Valentine's Day. I just can't get enough baby art.
Every now and then I tinker away on the piano, and I'm currently working on this piece. At the rate I'm going, I'll be able to play it in November. Of 2018.
Blocks in the bedroom window, waiting to be admired by a fresh little beast-to-come.
What have you been thinking about lately? Thanks for bearing with me on this tiny mind walk. I'll try to be back with something coherent early next week. =)
Thanks for being an audience I can trust; if you're looking ways to support my modest efforts on Dear Sabrina, read this.
Photos by me.
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